So... what you're saying is that cuddling a porcupine is not an option?

Dang. I REALLY hate query letters...

What about actual alligator wrestling? Snake charming? French kissing a Kimodo dragon?

Anything other than drafting a query letter...? Anything at all?

All seriousness aside, thanks for the advice. I just have to buckle down and follow it...

...But if you think of something better, like repeating the twelve labors of Hercules, you'll let me know, right?